i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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