All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm both gender and math confused
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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