He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
we should paint friendship bongs
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