chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
