New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
