I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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