I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
