Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
