Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
