respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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