Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
