Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
