Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
