his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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