i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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