Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
