I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
