remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
