if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
