the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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