Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
