I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
