You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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