No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize