There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
