This is not my ceiling
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
