Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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