Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
