i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
