Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
