She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize