At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
