I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
