That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
