I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
