I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
