How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
