if you like me you must not know who I am
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Still dying that you shit outside
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
