is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize