WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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