I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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