My brain says no but my pants say off.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
