OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
