I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
