So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I understand Curling. That high.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I want a musical about memes.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
