I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
