you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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