are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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