I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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