he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You made out with two different species that night
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
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