Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
