I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
