the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize