went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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