She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
