I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
