For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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