fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
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