Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
