Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
