I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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