Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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