no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
