And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
