How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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