I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
